So, I went clubbing with Blackie the other night. Was on a George Jones inspired bender, but all in all feeling damn good. Everything started out ok, but then a trend started to occur. Every time we walked into a club, some Khmer hottie would come up to me and say, "Hi, Felgerkarb" and either poke me in the stomach, pinch my arm, or blow a kiss. The first time, Blackie was like, "Who is that?", or "Why you know her?". Well, the first time I said that I didn't know/remember was fine. But after about girl 5 onwards, well, that would not hold water with Blackie. She was LIVID. But, in all honesty.... I had no fucking clue. No memory, nothing. 22 years on the ground here and well, I have kinda lost track or, well, not kept track of my...um....friends. What's a man to do?
Listen DIPSHIT. We tried posting on your shit Twitter fanboi, masturbatorial jackoff site about how lightweight your partying skills are and you deleted our posts...twat.
Lets see, millionaire in Hollywood and all you can do is party with pornstars??? Those crackwhores you call girlfriends are trash. You want quality, a Walkabout girl will suck you silly, twat, for a couple of bucks. I bet they smell better than Bambi and Twatia Stinkcooch. Save some bling.
Ice can be bought from every fucking motor taxi in the city dipshit, for pennies on the dollar compared to what you blow on whatever trash you shove up your face.
I party more, sans the drugs, in one week than you have in all of last YEAR, slick. Get your HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS and come to Cambodia PRONTO.
The Publican Sons of Kampuchea will show you such sites that your brain will melt and your cock will fall off.
So Spanky and She Who Cannot Be Denied have decided that they want to move in with the mighty Felgerkarb. I have decided that two girlfriends will always be better than one, especially when they are so...accommodating. Ming the Merciless ain't got shit on me.