Friday, August 28, 2009

100 Days Plus 1

Stu on his way home...

It has been 100 days plus 1 since we had the funeral for our dear friend Stu. His death came as a shock to us all, and frankly, put many of us into a tailspin for a few days, weeks, or months, depending upon the person and situation. His death plus a variety of other long buried issues started erupting from the earth all around me, like some sort of hell spawn intent at pulling me under to my own grave. I started taking stupid risks, drinking too much, finding myself in that dark hole and unable to find the light. I wasn't being pulled under at all, I was hiding in a pit I dug for myself. I wanted to bury my feelings under the dirt of vice and self indulgence. I was hiding from my life and his death by anesthetizing myself. I suppose many of us considered him the most upbeat guy we knew, with nary a bad thing to say about anyone. His death crushed me more than I knew, and was the last straw for me for a while. I think a lot of us considered him the best among us.

Then suddenly one morning I just woke up, my mind screaming ENOUGH!!!! at me like a warning klaxon of some craft about to crash land on the bleak landscape of the place I banished my soul to. It was almost as if I heard his voice, in that great Kiwi accent of his, saying to me, "Aw, come on, it can't really be all THAT bad, can it?" I had a good laugh until it turned into a good cry, and I felt whole again.

I don't know what all these means now, as I move forward, other than I miss my friend and plan on honoring his life with a long one of my own. It does not mean I am going to become some sort of Trappist monk! Feh, what would the world be without a Felgerkarb on the prowl? But it does mean that when I do "go arrrround", as we Publicans like to say, it will be with a wary eye cast back toward that pit I left behind me.

We miss you Stu, be it 100 days plus one or thereafter unto infinity. You are our friend, and we love you...Thank you for everything.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Cambodian Banking Sector OK

Yet another gem from our beloved Neo-Khmer Rouge mouthpieces:

PHNOM PENH, Aug. 27 (Xinhua) -- Public confidence in Cambodia's banking sector is growing and has managed to withstand the onslaught from the global economic crisis, local media reported on Thursday, quoting the director general of the National Bank of Cambodia (NBC).

And yet another:

Radio France Internationale reports that:

Mrs. Tal Nai Im, director general of the National Bank of Cambodia (NBC), expressed worries that, if the world financial crisis persists, its secondary effect will have a negative impact on the Cambodian bank sector. During the recent period of financial crisis, Cambodian banks were not directly affected.

Ya, not affected, if you believe that, I have a bridge over the Mekong for sale, CHEAP. Do these IDIOTS read their own monthly reports? Do they read their own press statements in the Khmer local press over say, the last 6 months...oh ya, I forgot, they get redacted periodically by the Thought Police.

Impact of the worldwide financial crisis on the banking sector in Cambodia and future prediction were two topics of discussion raised by Mrs. Tal Nai Im, NBC director general, during a roundtable discussion organized by the Club of Cambodian Journalists. Tal Nai Im indicated that the secondary effect of the financial crisis could have a negative impact on the banking sector in Cambodia because of the increasing amount of stagnant loans, i.e. bank loan borrowers during the financial crisis period do not have the ability to pay back their loans to the bank because of the stagnation of their businesses, and the loans borrowed to build houses or buy lands could not be returned to the banks either. Tal Nai Im added that the stagnant loan funds increased from 3.7% in December 2008 to 5.2% in May 2009.

I would bet dollars to spring rolls that it is a lot higher than 5.2%

Currently, Cambodia has 35 banks and 45 financial institutions that are under the supervision and review of the NBC. There are currently 820,284 bank loan borrowers, i.e. 6% of the 14 million population of Cambodia. The amount of bank deposits is $2.9 billion, and the amount of loans is $2.4 billion.

Holy Shit, talk about obfuscation, 35 banks and 45 financial many money laundering banks have opened since the financial crisis in Cambodia? Quite a few, I might say. Add to that the fact that you say that of those banks, criminal or otherwise, they have loaned out MORE than the GNP of the entirety of Cambodia recently? MORE than the entirety of the money LOANED to the government of Cambodia this year and last combined? If this is this case, what the hell is going on? There are so many poor here now, who the FUCK are you loaning this money to? Our local rice farmer? Our local spiced egg salesman? No, not any of them, BAD RISKS, eh? Something REEKS of bullshit here...

At the explosion of the financial crisis at the end of 2008, Cambodian banks were not seriously affected. However, Tal Nai Im indicated that the worldwide financial crisis caused a drop in garment export, tourism, construction, as well a drop in real estate prices in Cambodia.

Thank you for your brilliant insight, Tal Nai. I am sure the starving book sellers, flower girls, rural people and hostesses appreciate your insights.
Oh, wait, time for another crackdown.

Don't get me wrong, I love this country, and I support the current government, given the alternatives. But the stupidity and greed of some members of the government of our beloved Iron Man is simply amazing. The pure doublethink of some of the Ministries is just, well, stupefying.

Ok, enough politics, back to black humor, bargirls, and big boobs.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Cambodian Creates Telepathic Car

"Cambodian mechanic Nhean Phaloek sits in his self-designed homemade Angkor 333-2010 car at his house in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Phaloek hopes to mass-produce the petrol-powered vehicle to which he has incorporated various peculiar features, including one which he claims allows users to open its doors telepathically." - AFP

This guy is definitely a front-runner for the 2009 sCambodian of the Year Award.

Mutant sExpats

I reveal my inmost self, unto my god...

Errr, I can kinda see his point. o_0

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Great, now TWO Squeakies on the LOOSE!!!

As is I didn't have it bad enough, now there are TWO Squeakies on the loose. Apparently, Squeaky Fromme was recently released from the joint after trying to pop Ford back in '75. My former Squeaky works at Dream bar in town and somehow contiously manages to ferret out my phone number from the masses here in the Penh. Just when I think it is safe, I start getting serial sms messages.
Now there are two mad women named Squeaky loose in the world.

What if Ms. Fromme comes for a Holiday in Cambodia *cue music*???!!!! The Penh is simply not big enough for one Felgerkarb and TWO SQUEAKIES!

AHHHHH! *runs screaming into the night*

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Miss Landmine

This is Miss Landmine, Battambang, Dos Sopheap. She would have been competing in the 2009 Miss Landmine contest, but it got canceled by the government as being contrary to Cambodian values. Locals prefer their disabled begging in the streets so that they can be ignored and shouldered past, rather than shown that they have value beyond a begging hand. But I forgot, Buddha forbid somebody that is part of donor culture decides that they have a way out. Back to the streets, Sopheap! Go squat in some hovel someplace and hide your shame from us all, because we hate cripples in Cambodia...especially beautiful one legged girls!!!!

IMHO, I think she is hot. Anybody got her number?