Sunday, August 10, 2008

Bridge of Death (Spean Moranak)


So I was crossing Chrouy Chungva bridge with the rest of the posse while on our quest for the Perfect Karaoke Girl (this was before accomplishing my quest by finding Missy, Queen of all that is good and pure in a Khmer singer) and we came across this freaky old expat in the middle of the bridge...

Freaky old Expat: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Libertine: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Freaky old Expat: What... is your name?
Sir Libertine: My name is Sir Libertine of Phnom Penh.
Freaky old Expat: What... is your quest?
Sir Libertine: To seek the Perfect Karaoke Girl.
Freaky old Expat: What... is your favorite color?
Sir Libertine: Martini.
Freaky old Expat: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Libertine: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Choad: That's easy.
Freaky old Expat: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Choad: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Freaky old Expat: What... is your name?
Sir Choad: Sir Choad of Pattaya.
Freaky old Expat: What... is your quest?
Sir Choad: To seek the Perfect Karaoke Girl.
Freaky old Expat: What... is the capital of Thailand?
[pause]
Sir Choad: I don't know that.
[tumbles screaming over the side into the Tonle Sap]
Sir Choad: Arrrgggggggg!
Freaky old Expat: Stop. What... is your name?
Sir Dirty Sanchez: Sir Dirty Sanchez of Pattaya.
Freaky old Expat: What... is your quest?
Sir Dirty Sanchez: I seek the Perfect Karaoke Girl.
Freaky old Expat: What... is your favorite color?
Sir Dirty Sanchez: Brown...no, snowbal...
[tumbles screaming over the side into the Tonle Sap]
Sir Dirty Sanchez: Yearhhggggggg!!!
Freaky old Expat: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Felgerkarb: It is 'Felgerkarb', King of the Karaoke Parlor.
Freaky old Expat: What... is your quest?
King Felgerkarb: To seek the Perfect Karaoke Girl.
Freaky old Expat: What... is the ground-speed velocity of a karaoke girl on an Airblade?
King Felgerkarb: What do you mean? A Vietnamese or Khmer karaoke girl?
Freaky old Expat: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[tumbles over the side into the Tonle Sap]
Freaky old Expat: Aahhhhhhhh!
Sir Phnom Pen: How do know so much about karaoke girls?
King Felgerkarb: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

It's good to be the King!

(With credits to Monty Python for making life that much better.)

4 comments:

Guy D2 said...

LOL ! That's more like it.

Now, my King Felger-eh, karp, tell me, what's the difference between a King's Gambit and a Queen's Gambit ?

^_^

LuckyIrishman said...

What if the Khmer girl can play the coconuts whilst riding an Airblade? Life is but a never ending series of confusing questions.
See you in Sept, King F.

Oh, and the Gambit thing - whuts eet meen mon freir?

Guy D2 said...

Chess-speak, mon frère.

Something Felger and I didn't do enough.
Playing chess, I mean.

richard said...

I took my First Perfect karaoke girl from Pattaya to Holland, After 1 week she disappaered and went to the Red district in Amsterdam....
Maybe the perfect girls now are hidden in PnohmPenh, Kampot or Battamberg.
Maybe in disguise?? Nurse or Social Worker.